E-dreamz Company Blog

So I step up to coach the company softball team. Build team moral, team cohesion and a reason to drink some BEvERages on a Sunday afternoon.  I kick off the season with a little teaser email to introduce the team. Sprinkle in some lackluster humor and be done with it. As I re-read the email, nothing struck me as funny except a reference to one of my co-workers as "base coach." I assumed it was obvious I was kidding until I received this classic email:

"Hey buddy, are we planning on switching up positions during games cause, no offense, but Im not really too keen on paying $60+ to play base coach and maybe bat from time to time. If we are that stacked that Im gonna be bottom rung, Im honestly fine not playing at all. Just let me know."

Now, first off, the intense hilarity begins with the visual of him "playing" base coach week-in and week-out as I shout encouragement from the dugout, "Atta Boy Greg! Keep up the Chatter!" But after I keeled over in agony from laughter, I had to return to the email to marvel at how flawlessly his words were selected. It's a perfectly woven tapestry of passive-aggressiveness. The tone and tenor...perfection.  As I read and re-read the email, I find myself growing giddy each and every time I approach the well-timed comma separated pause to say, "no offense".  It's as if he said to his wife, "Aw gee whiz honey, I know it's an important role and he's counting on me, but I'm still not real excited to ‘play’ base coach every week. You think they'll switch positions sometimes? Maybe actually let me stand on the field of play? I'll send him an email where I make a compelling argument and then subtlety threaten not to play. Hmmmm, I gotta handle this one real delicately."

Judging from the perfectly selected text of that email, I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that we’re dealing with a project manager here. Now, the internal struggle with this situation is that he manages many of my projects.  Can I respect the direction of a man who refers to “base coach” as a position?  The struggle for me continues much further…my immediate boss is actually one of my players.  He said, and I quote, “I can play any position, short stop, pitcher, anything.”  I believed him whole heartedly and he was told he was in competition with Mark for short stop.  When my boss threw his first ball in warm-ups, I said “So Mark, you ready to play short?” I relegated my boss to third base and his warm-up throws were a great barometer of his play.  So again, can I possibly sit in a Monday morning production meeting and respect a man whose throws nearly kill neighboring kickball players while he thinks he can play “any position”.

These are the dilemmas that test my managing chops. These are the issues that Tony LaRussa couldn’t possibly comprehend.  These, my friends, are the office politics of company softball.

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