Company Softball Team Polygamy, victimless crime or sin to the team-less and burden on J.Q. tax payer?

Mar 20

Company Softball Team Polygamy, victimless crime or sin to the team-less and burden on J.Q. tax payer?

Posted by: Brian Moran

In a week where I discovered the life changing portal into social heaven known as Facebook, I also discovered we have a turncoat sports polygamist on the company softball team. Instead of explaining the situation direct, instead, I’ve decided to let face book do it for me. This is my absolute FIRST POST on Facebook. When people from high school ping my account this is what they will receive as the initial update on where my life is. It’s presented unedited in real time. Enjoy…

Brian is managing his company’s softball team. Brian’s female ringer first baseman just sent him this email in all sincerity: “Please don’t kill me. I can’t believe this happened. I have been playing on two teams in the same league for years and they have never played each other in regular season… until now. I have been playing with “Thrown Together” for the last six years. If you want to kick me off the team I understand, but since I have been playing with them so long, I choose to play with them on Sunday. It was not an easy decision. Does that make sense? I feel terrible and really hope this doesn’t put you in a tight spot.”

“No, this does not ‘make sense’,” Brian thinks. Brian wonders how he could have so carelessly assumed that his players would be playing for only his team? Brian especially didn't appreciate the ellipses before “until now”. Brian wonders why she would build the suspense before breaking Brian’s heart. Brian feels a comma would have sufficed.

Brian wonders if it would be silly to clarify with the others if they’re on other teams. "Maybe half the team is on 'Thrown Together'" Brian fears. “That would really test Brian’s managing chops, ” Brian mutters.

“She’s kidding herself if she thinks she’s not getting beamed come Sunday” Brian concludes.

Now, the only thing Brian loves more than Facebook is talking about himself in the third person. It tickles me to think of my classmates reading that and thinking, “Well, sounds that Moran turned into a real whack-job.”

But with regards to the team polygamy, was this a managerial oversight on my part that will weaken my standing in the company? Or just overall purely absurd? Is this a federal issue? Or do we handle it at the state level? I mean this isn’t Utah, I didn’t think they would let you play for competing teams for God’s sake. This is like Pujols showing up at LaRussa’s door to tell him he’s been playing for the Cubs for the last six years. Again, these are the office politics of company softball.